I don't feel "fireworks"

coat & shoes from my mother in law, old navy dress, f21 pearls & sweater
charlotte russe tights, j crew bracelet from @justpatie, sparkles of hope bracelet
(ps...this is my favorite outfit I've posted in ages)

I wrote this May of 2010... I feel weird changing anything in it since it represents a part of who I was at that time. I do think I jump to conclusions, and I stereotype a little too harshly. Perhaps what I meant when I said "we" was actually "I" but I was too naive to realize it then.

A good friend once told me in conversation that our generation expects fireworks from life. It's definitely true. We've become numb to a lot of things. Indifferent. Apathetic. The only way to feel something is to do drugs, or so becomes the general consensus.

I don't think life is about fireworks. I think that is a product of video games, movies and books. That, or our friends playing up their lives to match something of the sort, when reality is much different.

What the hell is love anyway?

I don't feel fireworks when I look at my daughter, but I sure as hell love her more than I love anyone else on the face of this planet. I feel nothing; However, I would do anything for her. I live my life for her. I am in awe of how beautiful she is and that I have created her. She grew inside me for nine months and I gave birth to her. This stuff absolutely amazes me but I don't go around feeling high off life. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I am so happy. I am so in love with my baby girl. Life is excellent. I am so blessed. There are no fireworks.

You watch these TLC shows of a Baby Story. You expect that when you have your baby girl your life will feel complete and full and excellent, when in reality you want to go to sleep and you feel like a stranger just handed you a baby and gave you a lifetime of responsibility. I didn't cry. There were no fireworks. But it was the best day of my life. I loved seeing my baby, but I didn't feel like she was mine. I feel that way now when I walk into a room and she sees me and smiles at me because she is excited to see me. That feeling is worth a million dollars.

I'm not numb.

Disney movies bring me to tears; they create wishes and dreams and hope and aspirations for your life. They create such strong emotions and high expectations. That's what they do to me. I know Disney is extremely controversial, but I love it regardless. Those wishes and hopes are real, but when they're fulfilled, sometimes there are just no fireworks. And that is okay.

Love doesn't have to happen at first sight. It's possible that love can happen over time, during the process of getting to know somebody.

I heard the most beautiful quote the other day on televison... I'm going internet hunting to try and find it now. This, in my opinion, is the most beautiful quote about marriage I have ever heard. It is so true.

This comes from Shall We Dance 2004.

”We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'."

Anyway, I have no idea how to wrap up this entry, so I'll just say that just because you don't feel awesome every single minute of the day does NOT mean your life isn't completely awesome.

warm cozy scarf

cable knit scarf from a friend (buy)
moto jacket from wilsons leather outlet (buy similar)
levis jeans, boots from ross (from my mother in law)

Freezing my butt off. I'm fairly sure I need a parka. Since I am stubborn and determined to wear this jacket... the scarf does the trick. I thought this was so sweet. I need to share this with you.
Jeff has been browsing present ideas for the little girl!

Sit On Train

What do you guys think of his choices? I think he makes an excellent Santa Clause!

Here's the most beautiful quote that I am sure you have already heard... that dearly reminds me of Christmas. Who is going to watch Love, Actually with me this year?

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around.
- love actually

Hope everyone is having a great weekend,

xo,

Courtney

ga-ga-gorgeous

I'm loving some of her looks lately... Just beautiful.

barefaced and beautiful

fashion.
just as clothes aren’t to hide our imperfections, make up shouldn’t be that way either.
we don’t wear make up because we are ugly; we wear it as a way to express ourselves, highlight what we love about our faces. it should never be about covering up “the bad and the ugly”.
we wear clothes to flatter and define the things we love. we don’t wear clothes to cover our bodies--so why should we wear make up to cover our faces?

i believe make up can be a positive thing. and i love it for that reasons. but i hate all of the negative emotion it causes us to feel.

no one should feel as if they are ugly when bare-faced.
no one should feel guilty about not wearing make up.
no one should feel house bound while not wearing make up.
no one should wear make up as a form of hiding what they look like.

i love that you can literally do anything with make up--it is as equal an art as a painter or a sketcher or a sculptor. make up can change us to look however we want. make up is a tool of self expression, another accessory to an outfit, a statement, an art.
that said, i would hate to see someone’s statement being one of self-hate.

why are we told at such a young age that make up is pretty?
the truth is, we are pretty.
we let our children play with these products. we smile and call our daughters pretty once they've smeared lipstick on themselves and laugh because we think it's cute. and it is. but am i looking too far into this? is that not giving the impression the make up is what makes the child pretty?

do we take the time to tell our daughters they are pretty every day, all the time, just as they are, bare-faced, and that a smile is what makes us beautiful? i sincerely hope so, but to be honest, i don’t tell my daughter enough. but i tell her she is pretty every day. i say “aw, pretty” as she tries on her necklaces, or i tell her once she gets dressed in the morning as i watch her strut around in her cutest clothes, but what about when she is not expecting it? when it’s not associated with material things? i’m telling her she's pretty at the wrong times.

i never want her to feel that she needs to get up in the morning and change the way she looks in order to survive. i never want her to feel like she is ugly. and we shouldn’t feel that way either.

make up should highlight our natural beauty.
we should feel just as confident without it as we do with it. it’s all in our minds. ask our husbands or our boyfriends. most of them don’t even care as long as we have warm open arms and a smile at the end of the day. and supper on the table, who are we kidding.

there’s so much more to beauty and fashion than making yourself into someone else.
your natural beauty and your confidence are key to your style. without it, who are you?



here i am, bare-faced and still beautiful.
and you are too.





blogger's do it better: animal print
f21 leopard shirt & bangles & locket; la posh style cowboy boots; garage jeans & belt; maegan's jacket
sparkles of hope bracelet for october's blogging for breast cancer awareness

xo,
Courtney

gorgeous... jackets (you're not surprised)

Can everyone take a minute to appreciate 1) this GORGEOUS jacket [um, please be mine], but also, 2) the amazing styling going on here? Were the jacket and bag made for each other? They must be... Also, paired with the yellow, something I would never do, but yet, totally works here, and the leopard leggings... and those glasses! And that ring! And that hair! Who is the girl? She's a babe!

This, I am also a fan of. I love this jacket. Simple, sweet, edgy yet perfectly feminine (all things I am looking for, as you very know if you've been following my ramblings--sorry, they're never-ending). Nothing can beat a pair of shorts with some layers on top. Isn't Autumn perfect for styling...

Look at this girl rocking the black and brown look. This totally works (for me, at least) because the brown acts as a color in this situation instead of a neutral. I've never seen brown look more vibrant. Anyone else agree? Um, also, the jacket! Sigh!

Anyone know who these ladies are? Pictures found via. Although it may seem the first jacket (the one that inspired me to post all these, as I know everyone is probably sick of me going on about these leather jackets) isn't something I would wear, I disagree. I know many people have a distinct style that you can pinpoint and catagorize, but I don't really think of my style as something I take really seriously... or limit! I love clothes. If I like it, and it seems to flatter my body type, then more than likely, I'll try to wear it. I don't want to put myself in a box that I can't stray from. I get bored easily. I like trying new things.

Look at this! First, the jacket fits everything in my must haves. Second, the styling... There is so much texture in this outfit. At first glance, it looks pretty standard, but then you see all the fantastic detail.  I love her slouchy hat!

Oh, shopping... I'll finally be reunited with you in a few weeks! I've been put on a hault until our trip. Realistically, I won't be shopping at all after the trip either, so I need to make a solid list and find the items I need. And then, Jeff tells me I can't wear any of it until after Christmas! Torture! I love you honey.

Until tomorrow's outfit post,

xo,

Courtney

In case you missed it...
I styled my closet monsters (together, I know, what was I thinking, recipe for disaster) just so you can go and tell me to either 1) chuck them, 2) keep them, or 3) try to style them again. I'd love your input! This challenge comes to you by Megan of Feathers and Freckles, who desperately needs a blog button to share on the side of my blog so I can show all kinds of blog love :)

craving satisfied: suede skirt

I saw Sincerely, Jules wearing this lovely skirt from Forever 21 on this post.

So I went on the Forever 21 website (even though I'm not allowed to buy anything off it) just to see the price... it was 30$ on the canadian site.

So Maegan and I went thrifting yesterday and look what I found in my size:





All of this cost me 15$ when I went to the cash. This week I thrifted...

- Red leather skirt (7$)
- Brown suede skirt (4$)
- Vintage silk scarf (4$)

Ah, so nice. So glad I didn't cave and buy the skirt when I saw that post! Although I do love that rust color...

Then I spent this morning reading about bed bugs and now I want to cry and throw them out. (I won't; I'm just being dramatic...) I don't live in a place that's affected by them... However, I'm still freaking out. Right now all my thrifted unwashed items are sitting in a tied up bag in my garage waiting to go to the dry cleaners on Monday. It'll be worth it...

Courtney

you can't go wrong with stylish comfy

You can't go wrong with a stylish comfy outfit. Today we went out to lunch and went to the park. It was a great day. I got a few looks wearing this. Apparently Newfoundland doesn't appreciate my shorts. But who cares. They are high waisted, pleated, lace shorts! Lots of good stuff. I'll admit I was a little afraid to wear these today due to the fact they are ivory and 1. I had salsa today and 2. I was in a park full of grass 3. I'm the clumsiest person alive... but they survived.

Outfit details:
Shirt - Thrifted (1$ !!!)
Shorts - Lulu*s
Earrings - Charlotte Russe
Other jewelry - Forever 21
Shoes - Urban Planet

I'm very new to thrift shopping... but after I got this shirt for a dollar I think I may be hooked. Everything except my shorts cost less than 10$ individually. Pretty awesome!

This is inspired by Krystal's post Olive and Lace. She says "I love pairings that seemingly make no sense together". True... I used a floral chunky necklace to tie the outfit together. Coral lipstick to compliment the little pops of color in the necklace. I loved that all my accessories had antique gold polish. Matchy matchy. This hair thing... I'm trying this out to see how my hair waves when I take it out tomorrow. I'll let you know how it turns out. Oh, and a leopard scarf. I don't know, it seemed to fit. Now I need to take care of supper clean up, bath time, bed time and then I can relax... I mean, sleep. Same thing.

Hope you have an exciting Friday for me ;)
xo,
Courtney

blogger inspiration

How is this for some inspiration? I'm so speechless! Talk about being fearless and in style.

via Atlantic-Pacific: r.e.d.

A few things: How hard was it to match those items? And how many people did a double take while walking down the street? This is so fabulous. By the way, I love blondes. I think I wish for blonde hair every day. I probably won't try to recreate this look. But it's without a doubt my favorite outfit I've seen in a long, long time! Scroll down for my outfit post that's definitely not as eye captivating as this one, but how could it be!?

xo,
Courtney

I can be...

Preview of tomorrow's post: Day 14

A smart shopper.
Mindful of money.
Appreciative of what I have.
Thankful.
Environmentally conscious.
A good providing mother.
An investor.
A person who does not shop.

I can be stylish. Just you watch.



So today started out amazing, and is turning out to be horrible. I got some bad news today. A person who I love dearly had their house broken into last night and a lot of things stolen that were worth a lot of money. Did I mention that this person doesn't really have the money to go out and replace the things that were stolen? Why does this happen? I hate to ask the stupidest questions today, but I'm so angered by what happened. How can people steal from the nicest people and wake up and look in the mirror the next day? I am speechless; I am mad; I don't know what to do. I just get so frustrated. This person was just saying to me how I waste my money on clothes that I don't wear.  She said I have too much, I don't need anything else and that I have a shopping problem. No one wants to fight over money, and I don't want it to get to that point, ever. I agree wholeheartedly, and that's why it's stopping right now. Plus, when I stop and think, it's just ridiculous! I decided that cutting out shopping altogether is unlikely, but I can do it until we go to Florida. After Florida there will be a limit that should be for if I ever need anything, not an excuse to spend. 

Another thing that I'm ashamed of is that I said I was going to stop shopping when I started my 30x30, but I haven't been doing all that well. Until now. I need some support, so I've been reading through Kendi's blog, because she's the only blogger I know with an open shopping addiction who has risen above it. I read last night that she recommends you start a want list and a need list. It starts with closet inventory; a purge of your closet in which you take note of all the things you own. I think doing this alone will make me realize some important things. 

On another note, my little girl deserves more than what I've become. I'm being wasteful. I don't need anymore clothes. They are purely just cravings, almost like some sort of drug addiction. All I can think about right now is "because i'm addicted...", great title for a blog, and so true... Well, I can say no. And little girls follow their Mommy's footsteps. I don't want to raise my baby to be wasteful. I want her to be thankful for the things we already have. That starts with me.

I'm going to put out there that I haven't ever put my baby in danger or state of neglect because of my shopping. She is always very well taken care of, and she is very spoiled. This post exists purely because I'm not being smart with the money that we work for and this is changing right now. I'm sure if everyone did a little inventory on what they spend, everyone has something that they could do to change their financial situation. For example, the person who spelled out my problem smokes a pack of cigarettes every two days. Add that up, and that's a nice chunk of change that she could have in her own pocket. We are who we are because we wake up in the morning and decide to be that person. I'm just taking the first step to change that.

This is a short excerpt from Batshite's post, "The Seven Habits Of Highly Batshite People", that I find very positive and inspiring:

3. Buy second-hand. Whenever possible, shop at flea markets, yard sales and thrift stores. This encourages the recycling and reusing of materials and discourages needlessly extracting new ones.
6. Resist fashion. Don’t get rid of an appliance just because it looks like it’s from the eighties! If it works, keep it and use it till it no longer does. Likewise, wear clothes because you feel comfortable in them. Don’t throw them out just because they aren’t currently trendy.

I agree with number 3 wholeheartedly, but number 6 is not going to work for a fashion blog. We can take something from it though. We can give away the clothes we no longer use, to loved ones or thrift shops. We can look for alternative ways to have the latest fashion trends, like buying second hand or inventing DIY projects. We can work with what we have to be fashionable. I believe that it's possible to be stylish without blowing your whole paycheck: I saw brightly colored pants on the Fall/Winter runway and lo and behold, I found a pair of purple skinny jeans in the thrift store yesterday for 1$. I also see that cozy knits are coming in. I got a beautiful green cozy sweater for 1$. I got a teal pencil skirt for 5.99$ that would've cost at least 40$ to buy new. Great finds, if you ask me.

Goal: No shopping until Florida. Make want/need list. Closet inventory. Be thankful for what you have.


Wish me luck,
I'd love to read some comments on how you deal with some of these issues,
xo,
Courtney

blogger inspiration

via Kendi Everyday

If you haven't already, read Kendi's post about breaking the rules when it comes to fashion. It is so inspiring! I agree with every word, and this we should all tear a page out of her book. Click here and read it please; maybe you'll be inspired too! If you like that and you want to read more; see here why Kendi remixes and why I find her to be such an inspiration.

Myself and the baby have come down with the flu and she was running a fever all night. Not great for my blogging life. I'm hoping to fight it off fast. Maybe if I keep saying that it will just happen. Wishful thinking!!

xo,

Courtney

currently craving

Here's what I'm currently craving:

Crisp, fresh and colorful basics that can be brought together to make a statement.
Statement jewelry. Notice this gorgeous necklace! Nude, eye catching; perfect to pair with bold colors for balance.

via atlantic-pacific

Perfect cozy oversized knits for fall. (Or August in Newfoundland.)

via keiko lynn

If anything, my flu is getting worse. I guess I'm just going to have to rest and continue drooling over other blogger's clothes for a while. Not complaining.

Happy Monday... 

xo,

Courtney

inspiration for the heart

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.

--Amy Bloom, best-selling author, psychotherapist, and educator

Life gives us what we need when we need it. Receiving what it gives us is a whole other thing.

--Pam Houston, author and teacher

It is not in the still calm of life, or the repose of a pacific station, that great characters are formed... The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. All history will convince you of this, and that wisdom and penetration are the fruit of experience, not the lessons of retirement and leisure. Great necessities call our great virtues.

--Abigail Adams, first lady (1797-1801)

"I wanted a perfect ending.  Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."

--Gilda Radner

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.

--Mildred Barthel, poet

fashionista!

The fashionable woman wears clothes.
The clothes don't wear her.

--Mary Quant, Fashion Designer

inspiration

I have a treat for you later this week! I just finished recording the mash up of "I feel pretty / Unpretty" that Glee did this season. I am so excited to share it with you! One of my long time best friends Alyssa and I sang and recorded it all in the one night so considering how long we were at it, and it did take a good few hours, I say we did a good job!

Here are some things to think about...

Whether or not you have children yourself, you are a parent to the next generation. If we can only stop thinking of children as individual property and think of them as te next generation, then we can realize we all have a role to play.

- Charlotte Davis Kasl, psychologist and author

Failure after long perseverance is much grander than never to have a striving good enough to be called a failure.

- George Eliot, nineteenth-century novelist

If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

- Marie Osmond, entertainer

Either you age or you die, so I'll take the aging option, please.

- Elle Macpherson, model and businesswoman







Tomorrow's goal: Find time to have a quiet time with Mia in the midst of what will be a stressful day.

xo,
Courtney

blogger inspiration

Late Afternoon

Pleated skirts.

This Time Tomorrow

Denim shirt.
White Blazer.

I want, I want, I want!

Now that that's out of my system...